the beehive hair blog

as someone who changes their hair often, i have more than once heard “you cut/color your hair a lot!” in the office space. i’ve always worked in really casual environments where no one gives a fuck what you wear or what the fuck is on your head. however, that doesn’t mean there aren’t assholes.

case in point:

adorable coworker telling me how much she liked my hair and had no idea i had once been blonde/redhead/brunette/short/long/etc. as she is saying this a male coworker … old… angry… saggy for sure… spouted off “changes her hair alot? sounds like a cry for help”. oh you would make this about you captain i-wear-my-sunglasses-indoors. i mostly certainly am not crying for your help, i am far better at a whiny outreach than a subtle change in appearance.

so today’s post is about pissing people off with your hair, because guess what? it’s hair. it is 100% dead and lives on your head! you might as well have fun with it and if i wanted to keep my same trying-to-be-a-young-surfer-dude-who-went-gray ‘do from the 1990s, dear co worker sir, i will ask for your stylist’s number.

last weekend i went to pitchfork music festival in chicago. it was hot as balls but yet a good majority of chicks wore crazy outfits with tights and leather. what is wrong with people?!

pitchfork is the perfect place for people watching, mostly because everyone is fucked up and wearing sunglasses so you can literally just stare. i tried looking around to see if there was any great hair and trust me there was NOT. it was so hot that most people just shaved their head and stood in the shade, but there were a few call outs. something i saw that i love just as much as i loathe is the bun.

a bun makes me think of a ballerina which pisses me off but the new bun look is edgy and fun and GET THIS off center! i think the side bun will be a huge fall trend.

here are some buns, hun, and better yet some off center buns, my fav!

(dont hate my because i love this)

i cannot say the word “undone” without thinking about stupid fucking weezer and their ridiculously catchy undone: the sweater song, woah woah woah. so, needless to say this blog in particular is hard for me to write without constantly singing.

while i love a perfectly coiffed head of hair that doesn’t have a strand out of place, i realize that sometimes imperfection is more interesting (for sure). a fuzzy bed-head or a wind-blown bun has a lot of whimsy that i am totally down with.

i will never be one to call it “after sex hair” because this is a misleading statement. i remember many a morning where i woke up a chubby 10 year old with the same tossled hair and it was just as charming without the colorful name.

(reblogged: http://seesawdesigns.blogspot.com/)

every sunday i go to the farmer’s market. in my neighborhood it’s like the who’s who of coolville (and me just saying that means i’m possibly standing at coolville’s door never to be let in). everyone there is dressed so casual chic and all the girls have the “oh-i-just-stepped-out-of-bed-and-it-was-like-this” awesome hair.

as much as i’d like that to be me, it’s not. my hair needs a good washing and some super product to look as good as it does, so when i go to the farmer’s market i am equipped with my hip secret weapon: a summer hat.

look at these farmer’s market (and more) ready styles:

(reblogged: http://www.calivintage.com)

(i will find these glasses and make them MINE)

(reblogged: http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com)

party people, the time is nigh, the time where my mostly mexican/puerto rican/polish neighborhood has an uproar of fireworks to say “we are americans now, which means we waste money on stupid shit that we blow up and we gorge ourselves on animal meat”.

now i’m as patriotic as the next chick (not true) and i very much appreciate the people who fight/fought for my country (very true) but the U-S-of-A has some ideals i find hard to swallow. probably the most light-hearted of those ideals is that we get our style and hair tips from celebs. we’ve got better style walking the street than we do gracing a glamour. you wanna see what happens when we blindly follow… do you?

Look at these award-winning american do’s. god bless am-hair-ica!

(we get perms. thank you my hair jesus that this is not PERMANENT as it’s name suggests it is. PS- those glasses are so in right now)

(we bleach the SHIT out of our hair and ruin it. why? oh i don’t know to look more fucking fun i guess)

(we POOF and apparently tan … gross)

(when we get dressed up… we leave two little pieces of hair outside of our up-do, i guess to frame the face? usually this would involve butterfly clips or glitter hairspray too)

(we have trouble deciding if it should be long or short. hell- why not both? the mullet is am-hair-ica’s pride and joy. even now as the mullet has a wave of coolness again, i hear in my head my mother telling me “never trust someone with a mullet, they’re indecisive”)

(we want to serve dinner on our heads)

(we, as grown ass women, put our hair in piggy tails. ladies - never… never … think you are young enough to do this. if you mom isn’t begging you to sit still and thunking you on the head with a brush, then this should not be your look even if you think it looks great under your pink baseball hat)

(we… we… HAHAHAHA can sit back and laugh that this was soooo popular)

(we allowed the “Rachel” to happen… for like a long ass time. apparently news anchors still think it’s happening)

to end this, i’d like to point out that i searched high and low for an image of a woman saluting the american flag (a woman who wasn’t in uniform). i googled “woman” “saluting” “flag”  and was disgusted to find ONLY pictures of naked ladies draped in flags or in red, white and blue bikinis. Not acceptable am-hair-ica! put your clothes on.

this was the best one. is this like sexy? all i can think about is that she’s smearing her lipstick.